Dream Makers Cara West & Toff West - Let's see what happens...

Hey Dream Makers, buckle up because this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom! I'm thrilled to bring you an incredible chat with the dynamic duo, Cara West and Toff West. It's their first-ever joint podcast interview, and trust me, you won't want to miss it.

We're diving deep into the good stuff—learning to trust ourselves, and finding that sweet spot between being present and creating magic in our businesses. We're talking about blending business with pleasure, making heart-centered decisions, and co-creating with the world around us.

This conversation is as real as it gets, touching on relationships, authenticity, the power of being adventurous, and bringing more softness into our lives and businesses. We're exploring the joy of growth, connecting with the present moment, and taking steps towards becoming the person we aspire to be—all while feeling good about it.

We'll also spill some beans about the exciting things Cara and Toff are up to (Cara is about to birth her book How To Be Naked into the world!) and give you a sneak peek into what's brewing for the next Entrepreneurs Unplugged day.

So, if you're ready to be inspired, to lean into your future, and to find joy in the journey, hit that play button. It's time to see what happens when we trust ourselves and embrace the unknown.

Tune in now and let's make some magic together!

x CB

Follow Toff West here and Cara West here.
Find out more about Adventure Based Coaching and Entrepreneurs Unplugged here.

Join the Dream Stream here.

Get the free e-book: Make the money you need to fund the DREAMS into real life here.

Get: The Money Maker Activations on sale here.

Join PUSH THE MONEY BUTTON, pre-sale happening now, we kick off in June. Limited Spaces.

Transcript

1:10

So welcome everybody to another Dream Makers podcast. It's Clary here. I am here with Cara West. Hello Kara. Hi. And Toph, where's, hello Toph. Hi I'm very well, thank you. I'm so pumped, I'm so pumped to be having this conversation with you. This I believe is the first time you guys have done a podcast together. I said I'm bloody excited, a little bit nervous. We're going to talk about all sorts of things today. My intention today is to talk about Entrepreneurs Unplugged, the last event, which is Toph's Toph's baby. And the last event that you had, which Cara, at which you were a speaker, a facilitator as well. And that was around how to balance business with pleasure. So we're going to have a little bit of a conversation around that. We're going to talk about Entrepreneurs Unplugged and what the intention is. And the fact that we're going abseiling next week, and I'm freaking out just quietly. And. Then we're going to talk about some of the outcomes that came from the conversation that you guys had with everybody at the event when you started talking about business and pleasure and your relationship and all sorts of things. That are going to come from that. All right. So this is how I wanted to start a little hot seat. Cara, you can introduce Toph and let everybody know about who he is and what he's doing in the world. And then Toph, you can introduce Cara. And at the end of it, I would like you to tell me something that you're super proud about. And then we'll go from there. Beautiful invitation. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen listening, this is Toph West, my gorgeous husband. Toph has recently, after 12 years in the. business ownership world has recently launched into a brand new experience where he is doing adventure based coaching, which is, he helps small to medium sized business owners get out of their business and actually get inspired to have a well rounded life. So for me, Toph is a perfect person. And to guide business owners in this, because as we will discover on our journey here on this podcast today, he went from someone who was borderline workaholic, like he happily worked several 24 hour shifts in a row for our business, like he was just, full steam ahead, full energy, full commitment to getting this business off the ground. But what that did mean was he was missing out a lot at home. So through our own journey and the breakdown of several aspects of our life, he came to realize that wasn't the kind of life he wanted. And if he didn't do something to change it, it wasn't going to change itself. So now he helps business owners balance their lives and have fantastically supportive and successful businesses because we're not in business to make money. What the flip are we doing? And also have a worthwhile and meaningful life with really deep and beautiful connections. So I'm really proud of him. One thing I'm, do you want me to do that now? Sure. One thing I'm the proudest of top four is his Ability and commitment to working on himself and really listening and paying attention to the feedback around him and pivoting for himself. He's not one to stick his feet in the sand and say, no, this is how we're going to do it my way or the highway. It's well, what is. Happening around me whether people saying around me how am I impacting the world around me and the people I love and how can I do that better so this man is constantly striving to do better and be more present and I think the way he's growing is really impressive too because it's not just success, more money, more ego, more power, more drive, it's. It's more softness. It's more presence. It's more heart in what he's doing too. So it's been beautiful to watch that journey of his growth. So clearly I could gush on about this man for so long, but I'm going to stop there. There's so much to love about you, Tom, it's so beautiful, I'm so glad I asked. Kara to introduce you, well done, babe. I think you nailed it. Top. Was she missing anything? What a mess. Ah, no, I don't I'm yeah. Nailed it. Touched, flattered. Speechless. Speechless. All right. This is brilliant. It's great. Having, yourself reflected back to yourself. Yeah. By someone who potentially knows me better than I know myself in a lot of ways, objectively at least. Yeah, that's beautiful. I'm so glad I asked it this way. Toph, your turn. Who's the woman sitting next to you? Thank you. Oh, what a pleasure. What a privilege. That I get to introduce this gorgeous lady, this gorgeous woman Kara West. She is a love, sex, and relationship coach. Has been on that pathway for probably four or five years now. And yeah, she's out there helping women and couples in their lives and in their relationships, both I think with like connection and intimacy in you've got your life in and out of the bedroom. But yeah, I think for me Kara, like Kara is the beauty and the art and the fun that really balances out me for all the organization and systems and structures and doing which, which just makes life like it makes life an absolute pleasure. And yeah, I think so doing life with Kara is. Yeah, it's certainly not without its ups and downs, but it is so full. My, my world and my experience of life since I've known Cara for 15 or so years. Maybe more now. Yeah, has just been so full and so incredible. And yeah, I think she has so much to give and so much to teach the world. She's doing that. She's showing up really raw and authentically. If you haven't already followed her online, I would encourage you to do because, yeah, it's inspirational. It's really, it is really inspirational for me. Just to see her showing up and yeah being her true self and open and honest and just sharing things as they are. I don't know, I can probably keep going, but I think. I love that. That's beautiful. What am I the most proud of? Yep. That she's about to publish a book, an actual book, 70, 000 words in it. This is so exciting. It's a real thing. I've known you for a while, Cara, and we've had different conversations on the edge of the soccer field about books in iteration, but this is the real deal, baby. Yeah, this is it. It's ready. I submit it to, I submit the final draft by the end of this week. So it's coming. It's like here. So exciting. Do you want to tell everyone about what the book is about? Sure. First I'll say thank you. Thank you, Tom. It is fun to sit back and in, in relationship a lot, we don't take a lot of time to reflect on what Each other are doing well, especially for two people like us who are committed to growth. So it's such a gift. So thank you. Thank you CB for giving us the opportunity. It's fun. So my book is called How to Be Naked. And Toph absolutely gets credit for helping me name that creation. We are a fantastic team together, so I was throwing out lots of ideas and he just pinned that one down. He's this is it. This is it on your book. I'm like, yes! Oh my gosh, yes. So How to Be Naked is courageous stories of growth from a woman who learned to trust herself. And it is Every story I could pull up from my system when I sat down to, first of all, acknowledge face on that I had trauma in my system, because for most of my life I was quite happily in the camp of, nah, F that, I don't have trauma, I don't need to heal it, look at me go, I'm a badass, I can just ignore what happened to me in the past and skate easily breezily past it, look at me, I have the life of my dreams, I don't need to heal anything until Everything just slowly started coming, crashing down around me. So this is the story of facing my trauma head on in which I actually fly to the states in the process of telling the story of my book to tell my parents about the childhood trauma I experienced that they never actually knew about. So this is That story, and this is how I came to trust myself, and actually CB, it was in one of your programs, Heart Driven Creator, where I actually woke up to the fact that I didn't trust myself. I didn't know, you don't often know what's missing. And I remember reflecting on that. It was after the program and I was doing a testimony for you. And I was like, yeah, I trust myself now. And I was like, holy shit, I didn't. That's new. That's a new sensation. I did not trust myself before. So this book is all the stories not as a how to manual, when I say how to be naked, it's not how to, it's simply This is my story and I hope that it inspires other people who have their own story and their own journey to go on to just get out there and do it. So it's Had Me Naked. It's going to be available from May 3rd. I feel so proud of you. I feel excited for you. I feel this kind of like gushing feeling and I feel like it's because you guys are just like loving on each other and so proud of each other and also what you've created and also to think about how far you've come. And also I love that little reflection of how it can be created because. I actually remember a few moments in that one, when you had that realization and you shared like. Oh, my goodness. I actually trust myself now, which is like the most golden thing I could hear. Do you know what I mean? To be a heart driven creator in the world, we need to have this grounded sense of trust in ourself and trust in the process and trust in the unfolding, which are great things to friggin say, but it's very different to being embodied in that. Feeling of trusting yourself, which I think then for you to get to a point of being able to write and share this book and go through this process and speak to your parents and uncover and unpeel and do all the things that you've been doing over the years. That had to be that kind of foundation of trust to keep moving along. On that journey, right? And same for Toph, like to shift out of a way of being in business for a large amount of time and know within you, you've got this know, it's set on your friggin bakery wall for a decade, live the life that you love, which in iterations you have, but there was a deeper calling to that for you. There's a deeper knowing there's more. Here for me, there's more here for other people in terms of what you're creating and offering and providing for people in your adventure based coaching, both of those things require you guys to have a more grounded sense of trust in yourself. And I think then it's something that we get to build on. Do you know what I mean? We can have this much trust and then start to make moves towards where we feel called to go. And then we build more trust because we're doing the things we say. Matter to us, right? So I'm going to say one more thing. I don't know. I'm on a little bit of a roll, but I actually remember I was away with my children. I took them to the big four. And I remember Cara, when you sent a voice note into the HDC group saying, I want to be a sex and relationship. Yeah. I was like I'm scared now. And this is exciting. That's where my, my yeah, if, when I said at the beginning of the call, I'm a little bit nervous because just talking about sex and relationship is, it's scary for me. This is not an area of. Of great comfort and that's a lot to do with the experiences that I've had in my life. And I know Cara's that's why you should do the work with me. And I'm like, that's why I'm appointing you. And anyway, let's just bring it back in. I just want to acknowledge and remember those moments. And that was ages ago. Do you know what I mean? My kids were so little, they were on the bouncy pillow. And now we both have teenagers, tweenagers, and you're living it. You're living it now. So just, I both, I want to take a second for both of you to just acknowledge look at you fucking go, like you're doing it. You're doing it. I love it. Thank you. High five team. And team, you said you guys are a team. I love that so much, right? I see and feel this sense of support that you guys have for each other, doing your own thing, doing it differently, quite differently, but then, and, but then they're starting to become these overlap between the work that you do. Do you want to talk to that a little bit? Yeah. Before I absolutely, and Tufkin too, but before I move on, I just cannot let this go without naming that, sex and relationships are a potent place for growth, and that's why I'm here. And I love when people come to work with me because it shows so much trust. Because you don't go to someone to talk about your sex life unless you trust them. And also, it is deep, it is potent, it is powerful. And Anyone, yourself included, who's called into it will do so when you're ready. There's no, it's not, you cannot push yourself into this because your system will crumble. It really has to be grounded. I'm ready for this. Bring it on. So I absolutely had to name that. And as far as our businesses weaving together, I do think that we are a great team, tough, and I've always worked well together. We've always bounced ideas back and forth off of each other. And. It's really, I think it's really beneficial to be in a partnership where you both have your strengths and your weaknesses and we can work with those together. And it's still a dance we're trying to perfect. Obviously, the whole idea that we've got the business and we've got the pleasure and weaving them together so that each are stronger. Because of the other is a beautiful, I think, analogy or reference to our whole lives in general. Like our businesses are going to be stronger if we actually have a lifestyle we enjoy and our relationships and our pleasure is going to be stronger if we have the structure and the foundation to give ourself the freedom to enjoy them. Toph, anything you would like to add to that? I'm just looking at them like, you don't know. Yeah, I I would agree. I would agree that we are complementary, like in terms of our core personalities, what we're good at, what we like, what, those sort of things. I think we do, I recognize that. I recognize that. You're a good person for me to do life with. Not that's, and like that is a challenge, like the, you are the person then that kind of knows how to push my buttons and where to lean on, on my edges and go, Oh, you think you've got that figured out? What about this? I think yeah. What? Maybe leaning into what you were saying about people coming to work with you and it being a portal for growth, like our relationship has definitely been the biggest portal for our personal growth individually and as a unit, as a couple, as a family. And then, yeah, choosing how we want to then, interact with family on a broader sense or friends on a broader sense and, yeah. Yeah, beautiful. I love that you called it a portal for growth. You can tell that there's been that just a crossover between everything that you guys are doing. Toph, let's talk a little bit about Adventure Based Coaching Entrepreneurs Unplugged Days, which I have the pleasure. And a little bit of year of going to I just have to be very real about that. Like always and I'm reiterated. I, we've already done a podcast with Toph. So go back and listen to it. It's a banger. I have so much great feedback about that, by the way. And we talked a lot about the last adventure day we did where we went into Tree Climb. There's no looking back. Let's just go forward. I do want to reiterate. I think that what you're creating is brilliant. I'm going to let you talk about it, but I'm going to go first. I think that what you're creating is brilliant. I know, Kara knows that this is something I have also been just deeply passionate about. Get out of the from behind your computer and get connected in real life with people and share the truth. And that's what I used to do with Love Local Flurio and any kind of event I've ever created. It's been show up in your truth in your authenticity and see what's here for you and get connected with other people who were courageously doing their thing in the world. What you rocket, supercharged greatness into me. What you're offering is also bringing this sense of fun and adventure and newness and a little bit at your edge, depending on the things that you're scared about, right? The first time you asked me to go to one of these days, it was stand up paddle boarding. Yeah. Okay. So not only did I have to come up against my fear of sharks, right? I had to think about being in bathers in front of other people, right? And that might surprise you, because now I don't really care about that. But I wasn't the same person back then. And I was like, this is, I don't even know these people, do you know what I mean? And there's going to be men there. And there was all of these different things that were, Inviting me to go to my edge and grow and expand. And I knew also have a good time, do you know what I mean, and have this adventure. So I know everyone's going to have a different experience of that. And we're all such individuals, but I think there is even just an adventure in getting away from doing the work. I have a, a, a. What am I want to say? My business is full and being mum is a big job. And then taking an entire day out is sometimes confronting for me, but I've never regretted doing that. I think it's, I think it's amazing. There's been one or two occasions where I couldn't do it and I made that decision. It's it's just not essential for me right now. But when I have gone and shown up and given myself that full day, it's amazing. There's just so much magic in it. So I think what you're creating is really powerful and bringing the sense of, yeah, we want to have a really profitable, well functioning business, but there's so much more to it. I see the conversations that you facilitate with people, the experiences that you facilitate with people that get them outside of their comfort zone or thinking about things from a different perspective or hearing. From other people things that are going to help them to grow and expand. And also just being in just genuine grounded. I'm a human, you're a human. I'm figuring shit out. You're figuring shit out conversation. There's just, there is gold in that. So well done. And I just said a whole lot of things. What would you like to say about that? We'd have been taking notes because there's so many different ideas that came up through there. You can come back and listen to it. It's a beauty of podcasts. Yeah, I might. Might unpack in reverse order because the thing that's most, most fresh in my mind is when you were talking about, just getting outdoors, seeing things from a different point of view, I think Ankara could probably attest to this one of my zones of genius or one of the things that I am just inherently or naturally born, created to do is like the way that I think about problems. Generally, I start outside the box. My first instinct when presented with a problem is usually not anywhere near anything that most other people would come to. So I do think that is something that yeah, like I think it's hard to I think it's hard to see your own strengths. And that's. Been a challenge for me. And I think, listening to you say that then just highlight. Oh, I've heard that before. Actually maybe that is a reason why people do want to hang around me and like my thing with. Adventure based coaching and the entrepreneurs unplug days is that I guess twofold one. I think there's so much value in nature and being outdoors and connecting with other humans at a human level. So I really wanted to create a space that was specific to business owners. And I think because that's been my experience, that's where I've got a lot of, value to offer the 12 and a half, 13 years in, in business that I've spent, what I've learned, how I can relate to other people. And I just love, I actually love talking to people about their businesses. It was my, I would do it whether I'm, getting paid or not, like I, I just really enjoy it. And it's, it seems to be a lot of the first places I go. If we are socializing with some, with friends or meet new people, that'll be like if there's a, if there's a business there, it will be like three questions down and I'm like, what's your capability at, what time are you working every day, is this working for you? How can you do it better? How can you do this more efficiently? Have you thought of this, that or the other? Yeah, adventure based coaching, which is a bit of a new baby for me, as you mentioned is an idea born out of. How can I find that ikigai for myself, like what is at the center of all of the things that I love to do, all of the things that I'm really good at, all of the things that would be beneficial to other people, or how can I help the world and what can I get paid for literally what is something that people are willing to pay for. And so that's, yeah. When I'm figuring out having a bit of fun with so since, yeah, since the sale of the bakery my goal and at least for the next kind of couple of years, I don't want to take on anything because I have to, like I've been really, and I think we might've even spoke about it a bit last podcast, but my natural. inclination or fear. Like my internal fear is that I need to be working. I need to be doing something to be having money coming in. But that's, that's an edge for me now. That's something that I'm now going, hang on a second. Do I actually like, what happens if I don't? And yes, if I don't do anything forever more, the money will run out soon enough. However, If I look at it and go, you know what, like I can take the next year or two and really try and open myself or open my heart to what is, what do I really want to do with the second or, the next bracket of my life? And be really intentional about it and try and find that thing that really, Might be one thing, might be lots of things, but yeah. Lights me up. Yeah I love so much and want to reflect slash reiterate for everyone who's listening and honor in you, and actually you both do this. It's, this is what I really care about and I'm just figuring it out as I go along. And I'm really like, I, here's the bit I know. And the rest I'm figuring out. Here's the bit I have the same thing. I'm like, I am very clear that my job in the world for me is figure out and as I've been saying the same thing for 10 years, and I'm figuring it out, living into it, getting better, sometimes dipping, it's not getting better, right? But figuring out how to be a heart driven creator. And a heart driven moneymaker in the world, but they have this grander sense of presence and connection to the things that matter most to me. That's never fucking changed. Cara, you've heard me say it a million times. I believe that I live that. It's I live that, right? I live that and I'm forever figuring elements of that out about how I do that in a way that's more in alignment and more in alignment and more in alignment for me. And. I think people often get caught up between here is where I'm at, there's the dream, there's the vision, and I won't feel this sense of joy and pleasure and satisfaction and freedom on my path to that. But one of the antidotes to that is being really open about the fact that here's the bit I know, and here's the rest that I'm figuring out, and allow yourself to have fun with it. Does that make sense? Yeah. So I just like really want to honor that in you and also bring up something that you spoke to because there's going to be some people who are listening to this where they are providers, right? I'm raising my hand, right? They are providers and they don't necessarily have a Yeah. I'm, imagine this is a safety net that you've created because of the business that you created and have just recently sold. And so there's time in there for you. How do I want to ask this? I love that you are like, body or stepping back in to yourself and saying, my inclination is to step into, I don't know, just call it provider role because that's how I think about it or moneymaking role and because that is a measure of success and everything's working and I know how to do that. This is something I am forever figuring out but really more than ever sitting in You That, that, that question is it matters definitely to make money to be a provider and take care of my children and all those things. And but if I didn't. If I didn't feel like I was pushing for that to happen and drop in even further, what might I create that feels even more aligned and find a greater sense of peace and freedom in this moment? I hope what I'm saying is making sense to you guys. But I think it might be valuable to other people as well, because we're always in this space of managing the Desire slash need for money flowing in versus one precious life. What's really here for me. If I surrender a little bit and trust a little bit more and really get to the heart of it. You said, I want to open my heart. What do I really want to do from here? That for me is more exciting. I love money making. I do. I've got programs around it, right? And that has been born from a desire and a necessity and supporting people with that. But I think there's something even a little bit more exciting than that. I think it's the heart stuff. It's I get one chance at this life. Where do I want to go with it now? What would you like to share around that, either of you, whoever wants to go first? You want to say? No, I have to tap out of this conversation. Toph has well and truly been the supporter of our family financially for always. So just this next journey of me trying to run this business and of starting my own business. And. Asking him for support and asking him for more time and trusting, leaning into my trust, because I know I'm on a good path. And also, because I've had his support, I haven't had to push and get it to make money yet. But, so it's the balance of, for me, leaning back, And trusting myself and also learning how to step forward and actually get it to make money. And I do feel like it's all coming and massive show of trust on top support on top staff, because he has to trust that in me without any evidence, every time I say, trust me, it's working money's going to come. I've shown him almost no evidence that's going to happen, but I feel it and it's true and it's coming. So I very much look forward to coming back onto your podcast when it's. Our roles are reversed and I'm a quote unquote breadwinner in our family and I'm gonna do it effortlessly and I'm gonna do it in a way that feels good because I know that if I rush out and get a job where I have to work 24 hour days, where I have to push and push just to earn us an income, we're gonna end up right back in the same place we were. Which was dysfunction, dysregulation, disconnection between us because we're not making the time for the things we care about. How do we step forward more grounded, with pleasure, in a way that's sustainable, so that, look, I'm in a business that lights me up. It is a joy, it is a pleasure to welcome money in doing something I love. That's where I'm going. I can't wait to come back and tell you that it worked! LAUGHS and I'm really glad that you did take a second to share your position on that because I think that regard that this is why I get so excited about it and that where's that space in between like for me, that's what heart driven money maker was about like, yes, let's learn about how to make money and be brave and create a business that brings money in. But doing that in a way. That feels grounded and pleasurable and exciting and and sustainable. So you nailed the why behind that. And of course there's risk involved in that, right? Thank goodness that you, yeah, that you're in this relationship, but there's that beautiful deep sense of trust, not only within yourself, but from Toph as well. Thank you babe for sharing. Toph, what do you want to share on this? So many things. Oh. Where to start? So one, one conversation that we've had yesterday, I think, or the day before, which is something I'm playing with, I get, playing or exploring, and it's the idea that what, what would happen? So I have this. One of, one of my current battles, not really a battle, curiosity is this like desire or want, or inspire, I'm inspired to really just be, live in the present moment. What's here for me right now. Don't worry about the past. Don't worry about the future. Just Be here right now. And then that side of me also is challenged then by the side of me, which is I also want to like, I want to be present and enjoying the moment now, but I also want to be present and enjoying the moment in the future. And if I, blow all the money or set myself up, what am I doing? What am I doing to set myself up for a successful future as well? Yes. So I don't know. I I have a tendency to agree with both of you guys on, if you surrender, then what is meant for you will come, you're not going to be able to force it. Either way, or if you do force it, your life is going to be miserable. So don't stress don't stress about the need, the future. I don't, and then reflecting again, back into what you were saying about the person who is out there, the breadwinner for the household, maybe they're a single parent, maybe they've got a partner, but either way, they're the one responsible for making sure the mortgage gets paid. The groceries are on the table every week. Kids. Got closed away at a school or whatever, like it's, there's all these things that cost money and there is a very real part of human existence, which is, have I got my base needs sorted? Have I got food and shelter and water? And that's the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And we're not going to be worrying about love and connection or self actualization if you don't know where your next meal is coming from. So I think there is a very real material or objective kind of need as humans to be out there making sure that's happening, making sure that we have got it covered. But in, at least in the, the world I see in the people that I see really stressing about money, hustling, I'm busy. I can't do, like they're like, got to do this, got to do this, got to work. I can't, take a minute for myself. That's not, I don't think in most of those cases, that's an objective. money need. It's a, it's actually an unconscious habit. And yeah, one thing that I probably was the most surprised about was when, because I used to be the kind of person that was always busy and I was always rushing from one thing to the next. And I would say, Oh, I don't have time to meditate. And even if I did have time to meditate I can't I'm not the kind of person that can meditate, I'm too, I'm, I've got too many ideas and then now, where or having started to change my habits and starting to take time and just see what happens when I'm still, and the results, and when being more in tune with what feels good in my body and what. What feedback I'm getting from the world around me. And objectively, in, in a phase where I went from hustling to push to have, like we need more income, we need, more staff, we need more products out, we need to grow this business, it needs to be bigger and better. And then it'll be, then there'll be more profit, then we'll make more money to doing less, and actually Having a good hard look at myself, having a good hard look at what was working in the business and what wasn't working in the business, which is that's it's not like ripping a bandaid off. It's like getting smacked in the face with a brick. Like it's Like you you think, you've got your ego, your identity attached to all these amazing things that you're doing and to really sit down objectively and go, hang on a second, I worked 80 hours last week. I worked 120 hours last week and we got. 300 bucks for it, or we're actually going backwards. Why is that? It's though. And so I guess the proof for me in my own story, in my own example, is that when I started doing less, taking the time, looking objectively at the world around me, taking that. Taking the kind of feedback on implementing changes, the person I am today is a result of the decisions I've made up until now. So if I want to be different in the future, I need to make different choices. I need to change something. If you change nothing, nothing changes. and actually having time to do that and taking the time to sit with myself and listen to myself and recognize the fears that are real and then the fears that are perceived. I think the business did better. The business actually did better. And then we transformed what was this business that was consuming so much time and so much money and so much energy, had to make some hard decisions. It wasn't necessarily all fun and games, but it was genuine. And it was like actually, Authentic and it was then it was like, it was actually easy to then have conversations. I said, look, this is the situation. This is around. I'm sorry that I've poorly managed this. I'm sorry that I've grown this to a point and hired you in a job that I couldn't actually afford, but I don't have that job anymore. And then, they were hard conversations, but the net result was a business that actually did work a business that did support our life way better. And that spiral, and I definitely talked about this last time, which was on a downward kind of trend into misery, turned and it was bit by bit, day by day, better and better and better. I love this. I love this story. The thing I think we're going to be calling the podcast is let's just see what happens. And I think, oh, there's so many things that what we've already spoken about, but I think this moment is a big invitation for everybody to, Combination of all these things that you said Toph and Cara about getting to the heart of what it is that you want to do. What are the things that you're really good at? Where's your skills? Where are your gifts? The things that just come really naturally to you that excite you. How you can be of benefit to others. What the, how you can be of service to others. And obviously make money doing like all of those things are things that you want to talk about. That's like your ego. We're thinking about that. Yeah. But it's not just what can I get paid well to do? What can, how can I, make big money right now? Because what I'm hearing across the board and even from my own lived experience is it's still questioning if we just focus on making the money, then it's not. It's not necessarily hard liner, it's not sustainable, it's not fulfilling and it's not we're not creating a life that is, is, holistic is the word I want to use. But it's this whole kind of full satisfying life, not perfect all the time, not comfortable all the time, but more. And more of the time in your loving in your presence in your excitement. This feels good. I'm in my body. I'm excited about what I'm creating and I'm excited where I'm going, but I'm also more and more in this present moment. I'm actually really appreciating and loving my life. This is. Living the life that you love, loving what you do, doing what you love. But like in, they're not just slogans, it's this lived experience that you can feel in your body, but there is no way that you can do that without a moment of, I'm going to just lean back a little and get clear about who I am and what I want and what do I value and how do I want to feel and what matters more than anything to me in the world. And even though I want slash need. this certain kind of money to, to function and survive and provide in the world the way that I need to, let me just lean back a little and in and hold space for all of these things, not just the money bit, the heart, my skills, my passion, how I can be of service and make money. And let's see what happens here. But there's a trustful. There's a willingness to step into the unknown. The known is I know how to go and make money doing something in the world, whether I, whether it lights me up or not. Great. But that's not how I want to live. So yeah, I think there's this kind of this invitation to choose to do it differently. And doing it in a way that's honoring of you and your heart and your values. And there is an invitation to lean back a little. Yeah, I love that invitation to lean back and see what else you can leave space for. Because if you're already filling all your time, if you're already filling all your energy with being busy, where is the space you're leaving for? All the good stuff to sink in. Tuft called me out not long ago because I felt like I was giving more than I was receiving. I was like, I feel like I'm doing all the work around here. I feel like I'm, giving you so much and I'm not getting anything in return. He's babe, are you leaving the space for it? And when he said that, I was like, ah, shit, I wasn't, I was keeping myself so busy, which is a protective mechanism. A lot of us do because it's easier to. Keep busy. It's easier to keep striving. It's easier a lot of times to keep working. It takes more power, more trust to actually lean back and say, okay, can I trust that this is coming for me even if I don't fill all my time working for it? Can I actually, like, where's the space I'm leaving for it? So that's a massive limitation, I think. Yeah. And definitely one I know Tosma's working on too, receiving. I think it's I definitely think that's something that we each do in our own individual way and also support other people to do that as well. You know what I mean? And, this, I have an obsession with spaciousness because I need it to function the way I want to in the world. But I don't want to, I choose not to, I don't want to live this 24 7 hustle that is the only way to survive and make things, create things in the world and have this experience. But I have had so much lived experience that when I create space and hold boundaries around that space and live into it then, There's clarity, then there's answers, then there's the next right steps, then there's more presence in the actual life that you are living right now. But, Toph, you spoke about it so beautifully. It's I know my inherent nature, if I'm saying this right, is we'll get into action and do the thing, because that actually feels good. I feel that too. I'm a, I'm an action taker. Remember my teacher, the action beats hope. Live and breathe it. And that's why it's a practice always to then create the space and then hold the space and live into that. And Cara, you I see that is something that you do more naturally. I think that, or it seems that way and I might be more on the action taking doing side. And there's probably that we can learn things from each other around that. And that's why the way I do it. I create the structure. I still do a doing thing to create spaciousness and softness and surrendering. Does that make sense? So I work my way around it in a way that works for me. But Toph, you were talking about I want, I feel inspired to be, they're beautiful and always be like a moment. I'm like, yes yes. And everyone listening, there's going to be many people who are also like, yes, I feel the call for that to more of that place, not 24 seven, just more of that place. My bestie Kristen, she'll always say more in my loving, more of the time, more in my presence, more of the time I'm like, yes, it's not this. I'm just. Being monk vibes, calling it in. I'm more in my being more of the time. I like, I think that's a bloody brilliant pursuit. Not that you ask for this, but what's coming is my thought or advice around it, something that really shifted for me. Cause we always talked a lot in heart driven creator and heart driven money makers do the thing that feels good. And often for people, that's. Not doing a great deal being, do you know what I mean, like I'm right and then they're not necessarily seeing the results that they also want because they want to feel good in this moment, but they also do want to feel good and supported into the future and they want to see their vision or their dream come to life and do the thing that feels good to get done. Like that. I love that so much because it actually gives me presence in I'm here and I'm taking action towards my future and it is actually feeling good to get this thing done because it's part of where I'm going. Yeah, listening, I could, we could have a conversation. Whole channel on all these different tangents, but that just reminds me or like reiterates what I'm trying to do with adventure based coaching in terms of creating a new business, which is we overestimate what we can achieve in a year. We underestimate what we can achieve in 5 or 10. And I'm really trying to just go right. Where do I want to be in 10 years? What do I want this to look like? And then break that back year by year, month by month, day by day, and all right, what can I do today? That's going to move the needle forward. And you speak about this and it's, it's not an unfamiliar concept, but yeah, it's really which may be even similar to you, Claire, like, when I have a, Highly productive day like that lights me up like that is what you know, that is what kind of feeds my endorphins and Yesterday was a cracker for me, like on all fronts yeah, up early, to bed, tired at the end of the day, having achieved lots of things. And also, just a side note, a lot of those things you achieved were one on one time connection with me. One on one time connection with Two out of our three kids and actually, and then on the trampoline with all three of them too. So even in your, what you can, what you are counting right now as being productive is still the connection time with the people you care about. Because so what you were saying, his work around, so what, a way he's found to light himself up, be productive, spending time with people you love in a way that lights it up and still fits into your productive day works for you. And it works for everyone around you. So I just want to point that out. That when we say we're being productive, we don't think of things like taking time to connect with people we love, but that was part, I think, of what made it so exceptional that you nailed it on, husband, father, business owner, like finance manager of a family there were so many things that you just nailed all the working piece altogether. I love it. I love that reflection. And I I do often also put those kinds of things on my list go for a walk with Eddie or something like that, because it's a, there's a doing in that. And I'm like boom, I'm doing all the things that matter to me. And I'm making progress. But yes, tough. I, my. Favorite days are like when I'm fucking on fire and getting shit done and I'm like bringing the dream to life, but never, ever, never, ever at for me at the expense of not having any presence and connection with my babes, with the people that I, then it feels, it doesn't feel that real sense of satisfaction. So yeah, I think Cara, that reflection is beautiful. It's a, it's all of the things. And taking action, doing the things that feel good to get done. It felt good or it feels good to tick things off my business list and make brave moves and make some cash. And it also feels really good to jump on the trampoline with my kids and be in conversation. And yeah, we're bloody done. I can't believe it's like 1256. We've gone into a bloody portal. We've covered so much in this, I think around balancing. Business and pleasure. Is there anything else that you want to share? A reflection? Because Cara, you were the facilitator or guest speaker at the last adventure based, sorry, Entrepreneurs Unplugged Day. Any of your kind of biggest takeaways? Because you guys talked about balancing business and pleasure and your relationship And business and how that all kind of work together. So any other takeaways from that conversation that you feel valuable to share with this community? Yeah, there's definitely one big takeaway that's coming from lots of aspects of my life right now that I think is worth entering into a conversation about, Business growth and being heart driven business creator and wanting to have meaningful connections and relationships in our life because as humans, we're always going to want to connect. We are designed to connect with other people are important. Relationships are always going to be important and this is the concept. And one of my favorite aspects of coming into tops entrepreneurs on plug day. And being their guest speaker was, A, awesome to see Toph at work, and to hear him introduce me to the group, just like here, is fantastic. You've got it on recording, man. Yeah! But really, just this concept of If you want a strong business, if you want a whole app, holistic approach to being a successful person in your life and you're showing up in places for business growth and those places do not include. Healthy conversations about your relationships or your physical and mental health. That's not a well rounded approach. Yeah. If you're not getting that in your business coaching, then you need to be getting it elsewhere. Because if we're, I look at people that say, Oh yeah, I have a holistic approach to my health. I'm doing this for my gut health. I'm doing this for my physical fitness. Or maybe they're doing this for their financial growth and this for their business success. But they're missing this big chunk. And if we're Ignoring our relationships and our sexual lives because we are sexual beings as well. We're missing out on so much growth and so much gold that can actually positively impact all these other areas as well. What's the saying you're only as strong as the weakest link? I think a lot of people are missing out if they're not coming into these conversations. So I think it was a beautiful chance to come into Tufts group. And honestly, one of the, my favorite parts of the day was just giving them the chance, giving these people a chance to reflect on how they're going to business, but also how they're going to relationship too, because we don't get many chances just to sit back and have an honest reflection on, Oh, this is what I'm doing. This is what I could be doing better. Oh, I love hearing what you're doing, Mel. That's a great idea. Oh, I love hearing that. Hey, I thought you had it all worked out and you're a struggle in this area too. Cause we've talked a lot about our struggles. It's really refreshing to be in the connection with other humans and say, Oh, you know what? No one has it all figured out, but we're committed to figuring it out. I think those are definitely valuable places to be in. So that's my biggest takeaway. Thank you, babe. What about you Toph? Take away from the day. I just want to share one other thing that's I was already feeling and thinking and then it's resonates with what you were saying, Cara, but it's about how whether you are coming from a place of love and abundance in, in what you're doing or pursuing, or, seeking in your relationship. Versus coming from a place of fear and lack, like those two energies are very different. And most of and I talk about it with kind of reference to the 15 Commitments book by Jim DeMar and Bernard Chapman Because that's something, that's a book that really changed my world and yeah, like I, I feel that a lot of people, most of us, most of the time, we're reacting to the world around us. It's always that thing happened to me, that person did wrong, or I'm in this situation because of these series of things that happened. And being able to take that step back, lean back, step out, and go, hang on a second, what would it look like if I took responsibility here? For how, for my place in the world and it really transforms like it transforms the way in which you experience the world around you. And that goes for saying, pursuing money in order to support the family that goes for, like even in sex, like I've just finished this book. Tantra book and it's like sex most of the time is a, like a fear based act of lack. It's it's this very, it's not that intimate necessarily. It's not, it's like an external validation kind of thing. And so yeah, for me, and I don't know if like where I'm going with all this, but yeah, for me Life and being present and experience things as they are really requires that, that broader perspective, stepping almost out of yourself and looking back objectively at yourself. And like you said, Claire, too it's not for me, again I don't just want to be a monk in a monastery on a hill or a cave and retreat from the world and just be permanently in this, state of bliss the whole time. Like I, I really value the human experience and I guess the human experience that I've been born into in this world, in this culture, in this place. And that the kinds of, benefits and luxuries that we've got to experience and all of the pains and the hard thing, hardships as well. But I think it was like two axes and just like finding this balance of yes, I want to be more. How can I spend more time being less doing, but I don't want to give up the doing at least for now. That's where I'm at. Yeah. And it's yeah, I still want to have the human experience too. Yeah. And we're, we're creators, right? Like at our core, we're like hardwired, not only for connection. And expansion, right? And we're either expanding or we're contracting and that's terrifying. So let's just let's be in growth. Let's be in forward momentum. Let's be moving forward and figuring shit out and discovering things about ourselves and. Really just acknowledging and celebrating that we are creators at the heart of it all. And so what are we creating, whether it's, what are we creating in this conversation or what do we want to create for ourself and the experience of today or this week was literally what we talk about in dream stream every week. What are we creating now, like, where to from here and just being as intentional and clear and aligned as we possibly can. And there is always this, I love the axis. I often do that with my hands as well. It's like the connection and space between who and how you really want to be in the world and what you want to do and what you want to bring into reality and just keep meeting yourself at that point. And being the most grounded, honest, authentic version of yourself in any moment and taking brave action towards where you want to go. I remember Cara, we, on one of our podcasts I think we talked about just this beautiful, it's quite a blissful place to be grounded and present regardless of the circumstances, right? And be fucking pumped about where you're going. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Feeling pumped? Pumped. Feeling pumped. Where I'm going and what's on the way. I just want to say we don't know what we don't know. This is where we started the conversation, but like by defaulting to, Oh that's how I know how to make money. So that's how I'm going to go back and do it. Like you don't like, there's so many people out in the world doing so many different things, so many different ways be open to new ideas and concepts. Like you're not. Yeah, like it's going to be, it's going to feel uncomfortable in your nervous system to do things differently, but that might not be a bad thing. And if we can lean back and be a little courageous and a little more aligned, let's see what happens. Yeah. Let's see what happens here. Let's see what happens. All right. I want to pull a Dream Maker card for you both in wrapping up, but first of all, deep love, deep gratitude. I've loved every second of this. I cannot wait to share it with everyone. Let's do this again. From an administrative point of view, tell everyone where they can find you and anything else that you're excited about, and then we'll come back into the Dream Maker bit. Kara, you go first, babe. You can find me on Instagram, where I frequently overshare about my life. Hello. CaraWest. And you can find my book. How to be naked on Amazon from is it next Friday, May 3rd? It's really flipping soon. So those are the two best places to find me. Amazing babe. Let's for you come on the podcast and we'll talk about the book. Yeah. Yeah. Tom, what about you? And I am new to socials. And figuring it out, but you can find me at Toff West or just as Toff West on Instagram and Facebook. I also have launched an adventure based coaching page on both platforms. But yeah, probably even just old fashioned email toff at adventure based coaching. com. au. That would be great. Amazing. And just give everyone a little nutshell of what's happening. Is it next week, next Thursday? So the first Thursday of every month is Entrepreneurs Unplugged Day. So yeah, give everyone a little taster of what's in the making. Yep, first Thursday every month we will be getting outdoors with a whole bunch of small business owners, small to medium business owners. Next month or next week is abseiling in Onkapringa Gorge, so we've got a pretty epic day planned. We're going to dive in early, grab a coffee, unpack some things around people's business and life, where they're at, what's working. Mastermind almost that around the breakfast table. And then we will hit the gorge for a bit of, yeah, facing your fears. Like what's your kind of tolerance for risk and what's real, what's a real fear and what's a perceived fear, like what is actually the things in the world and in your life and in your business that are objectively, yes, you need to worry about this versus. It's just your emotional reaction or a, maybe an uncomfortable situation that you haven't experienced yet. And then we have an awesome guest speaker as always. I always try and get a little a few gems of wisdom from someone new. And this week next week is Luke Adams, who is the second generation owner of Paddy Pallon outdoor store in Adelaide. And he is somebody who I really admire and respect for having a bricks and mortar business, retail business, which, retail is tough definitely the moment has been really tough over COVID. He's still out there. He climbs at least goes away for two days every month doing the things that he loves. And yeah, so I'm really excited for Luke to come in. And as as we'd like to do, raw and real. Cool. Share some of the things that, that have made that possible, some of the things that he commits to personally and within his family and unit to to, yeah, really maximize the way in which he's experiencing the world. Yeah. Amazing. That's jam packed with goodness. I am, as usual, just nerve sided about it. Like I'm pumped. I'm pumped and a little bit scared because I'm failing and new people, but I also, yeah, I really value what you're creating in the world, both of you. And if you guys are curious about the entrepreneurs unplugged, I'm going to, I've got a couple of podcasts in the wings, but I'm like, Fast tracking this one's gone. So if you're listening to this and you want to come to the entrepreneurs unplug day and go abseiling, then send me a DM send Cara one if you want to. And just say, I'm curious, right? It's all you need to do is need to take one teeny tiny brave action. And whether you end up coming to this one or one in the future, I don't think you will ever regret it. I just, I don't think you'll ever regret it. If you're just like, Ooh, I want to know more, just send one of us a DM and just get started like that. Thank you guys. Cara, your biggest takeaway from this conversation? Oh, it's a beautiful catchphrase. Let's see where it goes. So you said just yeah, let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Just how beautiful that is. And what a gift, what a true, honest delight and pleasure it is to be on this earth surrounded by gorgeous people with the chance to see what happens in life. It's just such a blessing. What's your biggest takeaway from this conversation? My I guess I have two takeaways. I think. Yeah internally for me, just the re recognizing, reflecting how important it is to approach the world, see the world from that above the line position. Really taking, taking responsibility and being curious, being committed to learning, not being closed minded. So that was, that's really good. I felt that a lot of times in the conversation today. And the other big takeaway was just like the pleasure in the opening and being able to introduce Cara and yeah, thank you. Thank you for that opportunity. Cause I think, yeah, I think it's something that. I, I am not, again, naturally inclined to do I, no news is good news for me. I'll where's the problem to solve? So as a result, Kara's love language often gets a little bit neglected. I just want to be told how, Look, you guys can be personally responsible for supercharging the listens on this podcast and just go back and listen again and again. Paris's gonna, Paris's gonna wake that up every morning. Listen to that. Why the hell not? Yeah, I think I, that concept that we talked about, toff, I think you talked about. Stepping back and just asking yourself a powerful question of what might this look like? Or what might be different if I took 100 percent responsibility? I don't think that were the exact words to use, but that sense of just stepping back and taking a look and looking at things differently. And yeah, of course let's jump in to what it is that we deeply desire and give it a red hot go and be in our presence and be in our loving more of the time and then be doing the things That creating what we really want to create and like trustful. Let's see how this goes. Let's see how this goes. That's what I'm going to be saying to myself when I'm edging off some kind of Clifford situation. Let's see how this goes. Fucking hell talk. You better keep me safe. That's all I'm going to say. I've said that to you so many times, like safety is such a big thing for me. I need to feel safe. And I do when I come to those things. So thank you. Let's pull a card and let's wrap this baby up. Oh, all I want to pull two, but the first change the channel. There's too much static here. Personally, I feel like there's such a beautiful energy in this conversation. But for anyone, this is what I think it's about, is for anyone who is at the edge of their comfort zone and thinking about letting go a little and seeing how it goes. If I actually make moves towards doing life the way I really want to clear up any shitty stories that you've got in there that are telling you it might not be possible. You, you have to be willing to, make the brave move before the next kind of steps. I shown to you, the dream, the vision, it's always there before we have the resources to do the thing we want to do. And so often we have these stories that tell ourselves that it's not possible. Does that make sense? Yeah. Do you have any thought or reflection on that card? No, I feel like I've got lots of static in, at the moment. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And I appreciate your honesty around that. I think that we're on the Dream Maker podcast, which we are wrapping up very soon. I'm busting for a week. I've got to go. I've been on so many calls today. We are wrapping this baby up. But. Let's be real about the fact that there is static there, go back and listen to Dreamstream this morning, because we did talk about that a lot. But that in every single moment, what do we want to co sign? Do we want to co sign with the static, the fear, the scarcity, the lack, the what if, the other people's opinions the, just any sense of this might not be possible the way I really want to do it. Do we want to co sign with that? Or do we want to co sign with a grander sense of clarity and abundance and possibility and experience? Simon and expansion and in every single moment we are getting that opportunity, right? And so when we feel the static, what are the things that you want to slash need to do to go and shift your energy, clear the decks, start again. That's I think the invitation for everyone. And you're as ready as you'll ever be. Love to you both so much. Thank you for being on this podcast. Thank you for all the Dream Makers who are listening. Take a screenshot share it on the socials, tag us, let us know what your biggest takeaway is. And love you all dearly. Thanks for being here.